Monday, December 3, 2007

Three

You know that saying "bad things always happen in 3's". This is especially true for me yesterday.
Number 1: I am woken up around 6am to Isabella talking to Nick on his side of the bed, now normally I would be ear hustling, but at 6am that was not happening.. I am so not a morning person and I could care less what she woke HIM up for...right? WRONG. He starts to get upset so I, being the caring wife I am...ask him (halfway still sleeping) what's wrong? He says Isabella just told me she peed in our bed hours ago and was too afraid to wake one of us to tell us. WHAT...WHERE...Oh wait nevermind I know EXACTLY where. On my side of the bed. My hair was wet with urine, my top was wet with urine, the back of my panties were wet with urine...you get the point. I apparently sleep like the dead and never even knew she was in our bed previously. I jump up in a fury and strip down. So she proceeds to tell me...she didn't get up to go pee, cause if I felt her move I would tell her to go back to her bed...YA THINK? So after she peed in my bed, and I rolled around in it for a few hours...she decided it was gross and she wanted to go sleep in her own bed. Furious would not even describe how I was feeling (aside from the obvious...stinky, wet, dirty, grossed out). I am now stripping down the bed, scrubbing the mattress, getting ready for a shower. I made Bella take one with me too, and we talked and she knew there would be consequences for her bad decision. Nick takes the sheets and changes the laundry around...which meant he put Bella's clothes from the washer into the dryer, and then the sheets in the washer. He handed Isabella a bottle of gain to throw away cause it was empty. (now starts the do what I say and do it now)

Her punishment was to clean her room, clean the playroom, and sweep.

Number 2: Isabella comes to me crying that all her clothes are black, she looked in the dryer and all her clothes are black(she is freaking out). I go to the dryer and sure enough...all her clothes are covered in some sort of black marker, pen, oil...not sure what? I mean everything, there was not even a sock that was salvageable. I carefully pulled out everything and expected with every ounce of my being to find a sharpie black marker that exploded. Much to my surprise, there was nothing. I could not find the culprit. I re-washed her clothes and still nothing came out. I get on the phone with my dad of course and he says maybe it is the motor blowing out oil or something, and he wants me to put a wet towel in there and see if it picks up anything. OK done.

Number 3: My dad calls about 20 min after he told me to put in the wet towel, and asks me to check on it. I start my walk through the hallway in front of the playroom (on wood floors) to get to another hallway where the washer and dryer are. I am on my last 3 steps on the wood floors and my foot lands in some slime, wet, slick substance and up in the air my body goes, my phone goes (in which my dad is still on the other end), I let out a obvious "I am falling scream", and boom with a loud thud I fall, and the phone falls. I hit my back on the wall and it was hurting badly...but more importantly...WHAT did I just fall on. I see a little peek out of the corner of the hallway and that Afro hair of hers gave it away. I said Isabella...get in here NOW. I said "What in the world is on my floors?" She says "Remember that laundry detergent Daddy gave me earlier?...well Mom it wasn't empty, and I thought I would clean the floors" "Daddy made me his maid today, so I am cleaning everything". I started laughing...cause what else could I do...right? If I didn't laugh I would cry.
BTW. The towel came out fine, my dad came out and took my dryer apart and there was nothing wrong. Fluke? Probably not, the marker more than likely disappeared. That sounds much better.

3 comments:

Jess said...

Holy moly! What a morning you guys had. I agree, waking up swimming in pee would not be the way I'd want to start my morning!

And the Gain detergent on the floor, oh my. I suppose she was being resourceful. :-)

I'm sorry about the clothes. I had a load the other day that came out looking like it had grease spots all over it. I have soaked, stain powder pasted, washed and washed and I can't get it all out. This is especially troubling since I only have three pairs of pants that fit me currently. I totally empathize on the dryer ruining good clothes.

diane said...

Joani,

Sounds like there is never a dull moment at your house! Are you all set for the holidays? Tree up? Decorated?
Miss you....
Diane.

Lisa said...

Yeah - you get the award for the crappiest Monday morning. I was laughing by the end of your post though...I mean seriously, how could all of that happen in one morning? Poor you!
The peeing in the bed was bad enough!!!