Saturday, October 27, 2007


I lured my 2 year old out of the bathtub with Cheetos. Pretty sad when she puts some pep in her step for food, but won't budge when I tell her nicely "It's time to get out". I am picking my battles while recovering, but when I feel's on.

Sunday, October 21, 2007


We went to the Pumpkin Patch this morning. I wish it was more Fall like here so they could dress in cute little warm outfits. No such luck though.

We decided this year we are not going to do carving, it is tedious and just a pain in the booty. We found the cutest Mr. Potato head pieces for pumpkins at Target this year and decided to use those. Isabella (rightfully so) got the Diva pumpkin. Abby (also very perfect) got the Clown pumpkin. It was really fitting for both of their personalities. They actually got to do more this way then they would have if we decided to carve them.

So handsome :) He has hats galore. A good friend of ours is in the NFL and every time he goes to another team, well of course Nick gets gear for said team. The Bengals it is right now, hence his trip to Cincinnati a few posts back. I am also loving the new growth he is sporting :)

I could not resist letting Abby still wear her boots, even though it was in the high 80's today. She has a touch of fall. Bella on the other hand wanted to wear a dress and flip flops, I can't blame her.

I think they turned out so cute. They will also last longer than if we carved them. They should last well past Halloween. The only bad thing is we can't light them, but if I remember correctly, we didn't light them last year but maybe one time. They turn to goo so fast when you light them. Plus the bugs, ooohhhhh the bugs.

The girls kissing their pumpkins. The lips on them were HUGE.

The finishing touches, I have to say the Diva needed some blush, she was looking a bit pale. Some mascara and drawn in eye brows and she is good to go.

It went well

Everything went well, I am home and recovering.
I ended up in recovery for about 4 hours cause I could not meet all the requirements IE. go pee. I think it may have something to do with the fact that the nurses insisted on being inside the bathroom with me. My blood pressure was very low and they didn't want to leave me in there alone. I am not a public bathroom goer though. At one point I insisted I was not leaving the bathroom till I went and she (the nurse) had to go check on someone else so Nick came in and then I was able to go....just like that. The nurse came back in and joked that Nick went for me, but I assure you he did not. Although he did offer :)
I do not remember much before and after, funny how everything sort of erases from your mind. I have no recollection of speaking to the doctor in recovery. I was really counting on Nick to tell me everything he said to him, BUT he does not remember everything. He did say he found some lesions or adhesion's and removed them. He found something growing on my pelvic bone and said that could be the source of alot of my pain, and he removed that also. My tubes are all clear and that is all he remembers. He said the Doctor showed him some before and after pictures from the surgery and it was a little much for him to see. I thought that was funny.
He ended up making 3 incisions and the one on my left side is larger than my right side. I am not sure why this is?
My pain is pretty much under control. The hardest is for me to get up and down, and of course out of bed. I cannot lift anything over 10lbs for 2 weeks, so I am worried about how I am going to get Abby in and out of the car to pick Bella up from school. Nick said he would "train" her to get in the car and into her seat by Monday. I really did laugh at that. We drive a Tahoe and *I* have to use the step bar to get in. Amazingly so, she did it. She climbed in the car and into to her car seat, and I just had to buckle her. Pretty neato. Nick said I will just have to lure her to the car with food :) Sounds good to me.

Thursday, October 18, 2007


Life before marriage and children was carefree. I had no fears, you could send anything my way and I would attempt it. I was not scared of flying, surgeries, car accidents, etc.

Now I am total opposite. When me and my family went to Kansas City, we of course booked an airline. I was nervous from the start. Isabella and Abigail were going along and they had never flown before so I was worried about them, and then of course Nick and I. We boarded the plane and I was a mess. Abigail only wanted me and Isabella was in the seat next to me and Nick was across the aisle. Isabella was fascinated, she really was a trooper for a new experience. She must have asked a million questions. I was having serious anxiety though and could not focus on her, I could not answer any questions. When we took off is when I became very tense, we were taking off through a Tropical storm so to say it was bumpy would be putting in nicely. We would being to increase our height only to hit an air pocket and free fall a hundred feet. I began to feel like I was going to throw up, I got my bag out and was fearfully trying to breathe deep. I do remember Isabella saying at one point "wheeeeee this is like a roller coaster". This continued till we reached our destination. Our flight attendant (although having to stay buckled himself most of the trip) was very nice to me and could sense my rising fear. He checked on me a few times and even made a call up to the pilot to see how much longer we had (yes I was acting like a child)....are we there yet? Anyway my point is I thought at first my fear was because I had not flown since 9/11 and you know it was just scary. Then my thoughts shifted to, maybe my fear is because my whole family is on this airplane. Well now I have a new theory. If you have been reading my blog you know I am having surgery in the morning, and I am really scared once again. I think my fear is not of the actual task...but that I am in no control over the situation. I am handing over my life to someone else. I am not sure why this is what it is? I think after having children you are in control of so many things, like their lives and well being. You take care of them, nurture them. You automatically assume this responsibility over every aspect of their lives. They count on you to be there, and not just me but Nick also. He is such a wonderful, devoted father. Not like any other I promise. He is always there for them, he takes the girls on dates, he rearranges his schedule if something comes up and they need him. He is there for physicals...and not because I can't take them, but because he wants to be there with me and them. He has no qualms about having the girls by himself, he is not afraid to step up and do what it takes. All this without any guidance from me. It is like second nature to him to have girls. I do know if anything ever happened to me, they will be in the best hands they could ever be in. There is just something about not being in control over a situation that really freaks me out. What scares me the most is not the actual incisions, but the anesthesia. I mean you are given a dosage that actually knocks you out with no recollection of several hours. That is just so foreign to me. Again, no control. Anyway, I am sure I will be fine, I am sure my doctor does these surgeries all the time. I will leave now with some pics of my princesses.

I love this pic, they are both smiling and loving each other at the moment.

This is what happens when you say "give me the look" it is hilarious. I didn't quite capture Abby's full look, usually her eyes go a bit more down. So funny.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Pre-Op went well.

I had my Pre-Op today and everything went well. The Doctor just went over everything with me and explained all the risks, and dangers associated with surgery. You know the stuff you never wanna hear about. I told him I was sick and he said as long as it does not turn into a Upper Respiratory infection I should be fine. He said the Anesthesiologist (Sp?) will be with me 45 min prior to surgery and if he feels it is un safe the surgery will be canceled. That's makes me feel better. I am not sure if I am getting better or worse, hopefully better.

I also went and pre-registered at the hospital and they did blood work, including a CBC and a HCG Quantitative. I am assuming they want to check for bacteria and pregnancy before the surgery. The latter of those 2 would be nice, it would give us what we have been wanting and also eliminate the need for surgery right now. I know this is extremely unlikely though, so I can't get my hopes up.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

I guess that OLD saying....

When it rains it pours....stands true.

It all starts with Nick being out of town (in Washington DC this time, cause if something is going to go wrong it happens then.) I asked my sister to bring me some Benadryl for Isabella, she had some bug bites from the playground at school, and she is also allergic to grass (just itchy allergic). So me and the girls had our baths and showers and I just really didn't feel like going out. She comes over and the kids (hers and mine) start running around the front yard. Long story sisters little girl shut Abby's hand in the car door. Lindsay immediately runs over and opens the door to get her hand out and she is bleeding....which Isabella notices right away. Lindsay is running in the house with Abby, I am already in the kitchen getting ice, and Isabella is freaking out screaming "my sister, my sister...oh my goodness, oh my goodness" She kept saying "I'm so scared for her" over and over. She runs off and hides.

Abigail's thumb starts swelling really quickly and she is of course hysterical. I am trying to get her to calm down and my sister is looking it over. I all of a sudden begin to feel light headed, dizzy, clampy, weak.....yep, I was about to pass out. I go to sit down with Abby, she only wants me, and begin to feel better. My sister is an RN so she was just fine. Her finger is still bleeding and filling with blood now. Lindsay tells me I should go to the ER to make sure there is not a break and to look at the pressure building up in her thumb. Isabella comes out of hiding holding a orange crayon and this is what she says "mom I am so scared for my sister, I was hiding in her closet and I wrote on the wall everything I love about her" I felt so bad for her, but I could not admire her artwork at that exact moment, nor did I care to check the damage :) She decided she did not want to go with me and instead took off with Lindsay.

The next morning, she is having Pancakes.

In the ER Abby cried for hours, as I sit with her by myself. It was pretty busy, and showed no signs of letting up. I drove to the closest hospital which does not specialize in peds. We eventually got called back for an X-ray and then back out to the waiting room. A few hours later they called us back and the Doc said there was no break or fracture. Great news. He said what concerned him more was the swelling, he said her finger was bleeding internally and there was no more space to expand. He wanted to make an incision to relieve the pressure, but said not tonight cause it would bleed and bleed. They cleaned her hand , and then he wrapped it like a boxing glove to protect it and sent us on our way. So a check-up was in order with our pediatrician the next day.

My pediatrician said she is so happy he did not cut her finger. She said alot of times ER docs that are not affiliated with children are unsure as to what action is best. Anyway her finger is doing better now.
Later that night she starts running a fever and is just overall cranky. I was not sure if it could be from an infection in her finger, or the start to an illness....we WERE in the germ infested ER after all.

Nick got home on Thurs night (actually at like 1am Friday morning) I just sort of watched it the next few days and it is not really letting up. Then Isabella starts running a fever. So we decided today we needed to bring them in (our ped is open all weekend, I love them for that alone) they were both congested and coughing, runny noses. You know your basic cold. Well not so much. Abigail has a double ear infection, and sinusitis. Isabella has blood and white cells in her urine. They had to send hers out for a culture to find the exact cause, which could range from a Kidney infection to a UTI. They are both on antibiotics now. Who knew, I mean Isabella was not even complaining of anything. Abigail was sleeping fine, and never so much as tugged at her ears. She has tubes in there too.
OK now onto me. I am having some of the same symptoms, minus the fever. I have sore throat, congestion, coughing, sneezing. I have my Pre-Op appt. tomorrow morning and I am thinking the doctor will want to cancel my surgery. I am sure he will not want to put me under, when I can barely breathe. I am using my inhaler utleast 2x a day right now. I have to say if he does this, it will relieve some stresses I am having about it. I will also be disappointed in the same breath. Nick has a planned trip to San Francisco the week after my surgery and I have been stressing out about that. You know like will I be 100% enough to do 24/7 with the kids, bedtime baths, cooking...etc. I know he feels terrible and offered to do anything he could to make me comfortable while he was gone. I am sure I will be fine, there is just that "what if" in the back of my mind. IS 5 days after surgery enough time to feel good?
You know when you were little and sick, and all you wanted was your mom? (That's how I was anyway) and she is the only one you trusted to care for you, and you knew she loved you so much and would do anything to make you feel good, and stayed by your side? That is how I feel about Nick, I just want him with me. Besides my mom and dad are in VA at their vacation house. Maybe I am being selfish about the whole thing.
Oh man it is late, what a depressing blog this was.

Friday, October 5, 2007

It is nice!!

I had to go to the Doctor today for some on-going problems I have been having, and he diagnosed me with severe Endometriosis. He said the "stage" he thought it was (based on my symptoms and an US) to the nurse but I did not hear what he said. He said our best option was surgery and scheduled it for Oct 19th. I am scared, nervous, and anxious all at the same time. I am also relieved I have a solution to this problem. I told him we have been TTC for the last 8 months to no avail obviously and he made reference to how "lucky" we are for having 2 healthy children. He also said this could very well be the reason it took us 2 years to get pregnant with Abigail. I mentioned that I am just emotionally drained, and probably ready to just stop trying. He asked me to wait until after the surgery cause he said that most Endo patients conceive within 6 months of the Lap. I got a small glimmer of hope. Even though the kids would be further apart then I had originally hoped, beggars can't be choosers right. Nick and I have always wanted 3 children and I just think that longing would always be there. I am not fooling anyone but myself to say I could give up!! I fought long and hard for Abigail.
I know I have mentioned before about Isabella being so thoughtful and genuine. Well tonight she said, "mom I need to sleep in your bed tonight, cause I need to tickle your belly to help you relax" she is so sweet. So here she is laying next to me right now....sound asleep. She will be moved to her own room shortly, she got a little to used to being in here with me while Nick was gone.
Nick and Abigail on the other hand are trying out a little experiment right now. They are both in the living room right now watching baseball. Nick thinks that if she surpasses her bedtime, she will sleep later...hahaha she is usually in bed at 7:30 so she has definitely passed that mark. I guess we will see how she does in the AM.
I am doing PT in the morning because the doctor also thinks my pelvis is dislocated in some sorts. I hope it will not be to painful, because I honestly don't think I can take any more right now. I am not for certain about the pelvis thing, I think he may just be trying to help me relieve some pain until the surgery. Oh yeah and he also said my C-section scar has some knots in it, and said he wanted to inject some steroids into the scar, he described the process to me and described the severity of the pain I will be in while he does it....ummmmm no thanks. I got sweaty and I could feel the blood draining from my face as he was saying all that. I respectfully declined the procedure. So many problems for me today. I am glad I went and am getting it all taken care of though, but it surely makes me feel like I am aging as the days pass.

Monday, October 1, 2007

You know what I love?

Nick is out of town in Cincinnati for the Bengals vs. New England game. I miss him terribly when he is gone, no matter whether it be business or pleasure, although usually it is business. I have one thing to look forward to (OK actually 2) and that is that Isabella KNOWS that when he is gone she gets to sleep with me. I love it. I love to snuggle her in at night, listen to her sleep talking (yes she really does), and hear her breathing. I know this is something that will surely not last forever. I know she will not be 16 and wanting to sleep in my bed when Nick is out of town, so I am quick to enjoy it now. Abby on the other hand would have nothing to do with sleeping in my bed, she would rather be in her crib than anywhere near someone while she is catching up on her beauty rest. Very independent. OK and the other thing I like is that my house stays so much cleaner when he is OOT. I am not picking up rolled up socks off the floor (which is a pet peeve of mine) I just started washing them like this, because I am NOT going to stick my hand in his sock to un roll it..ewwwww. I am hoping he will take notice to this soon. I am not sure why it is much cleaner, but really it is.

What a bear she has been lately. She and Bella are so different. Bella was a tough baby and is now proving to be a slightly easier little girl. Abby was so easy and is now proving to be difficult. She challenges my every question, my every move, and everything is "mine". Everything is about Abby. This morning I was folding my laundry in my bedroom and Abby was playing babies, or so I thought. I walk into the living room and she had re-decorated my couch in RED permanent sharpie marker. LOVELY. I scrubbed with the cleaner that I got from the furniture store where the couch was purchased, much to my avail no such luck. I mean it did not even fade, it actually bled some of the red in the area I was scrubbing. I have no idea what to do to get this out, but more importantly...what to do with her when she does things like this. I don't even know where she got the marker from? I think she has a secret stash of things she has taken over the last few months IE. 2 remotes, 2 cordless phones, my inhaler tube (don't worry she can't prime without a key piece) she is like the swiper of our family. I saved one phone from near death when I was walking to the car and heard it ringing in our BIG garbage (you know the one you keep outside and can put like 3 trash bags in) yeah, nastay. I called Nick out on that one. I have plates, and forks, and cups missing. I just don't know what to do anymore.

P.S. Maybe I should check that backpack of hers. See below Pic. Dora always has everything she needs in her backpack, maybe Abby is folowing suit by collecting house items.